Simon Goetz

Copywriter. Ne'er-do-well-off.
FREE LANCE

Advertisements, websites, slogans, company names, t-shirts, homework, etcetera.

simoncgoetz@gmail.com / @crusher

503.710.2020

Copywriting samples:

Toshiba

“Look a gift horse in the mouth. First, upload that photo of the expired laxatives from Aunt Elsie.”

Design and development: tenfourCopy: Simon Goetz

Project Link: Worst Gift Ever

Uncover

“Assess applicants, prioritize actions, annotate assets, delegate tasks, set reminders for yourself and your team, and supervise the entire operation in one place.”

Design and development: Tim Boelaars and UncoverCopy: Simon Goetz

Project Link: Main

Fancy Hands

“They’re good at pushing buttons without pushing your buttons, and they’re OCD about GTD.”

Design and development: Fancy Hands, Copy: Simon Goetz

Project Link: Main

Syfy

“Direct cameras in the cosmos, discover planets and galaxies, search for extraterrestrials, and build a Mars rover in your garage.”

Direction and production: Syfy, Scripts: Simon Goetz

Project Link: Ariel Waldman Spot

Carbonmade

We employ real mythical beasts. We’ll hire a cyclops if he has a good eye.”

Design and development: CarbonmadeCopy: Simon Goetz

Project Link: Why Carbonmade?

ALEX

“With proper care, your ALEX bottle will outlast an endless summer, a long and illustrious career, a storybook marriage, and a brick lollipop. Your bottle will most likely NOT outlast true love, the universe, and other ALEX bottles.”

Design and development: Nice Reusables, Copy: Simon Goetz

Project Link: ALEX Bottle

Air New Zealand

“After climbing above the cloud bank, you and your colleagues discover an angry bee inside the cockpit.”

Design and development: tenfour, Assorted copy: Simon Goetz

Pure

“We could tell you about how organic cocoa has flavonoids which act as antioxidants to reverse cell damage. Or we could just say two words: Chocolate Brownie.”

Design and development: Use All Five, Copy: Simon Goetz

Project Links: Mission, Veronica’s Story, Our Six Flavors

Microsoft

“Remember to be firm. Maintain eye contact. It’s up to you to train your netbook to play nice.”

Animation/Development/Creative Direction: tenfourCopy: Simon Goetz

Project Link: Videos

Decker Design

“The French Bulldog spent her formative weeks in pastoral Pennsylvania, but quickly sought residence in New York City to pursue a career in design and napping beneath chairs.”

Creative Direction: Decker Design, Copy: Simon Goetz

Project Link: Olivia’s bio

Jukely

“Concert concierge.”

Design and development: Jukely, Copy: Simon Goetz

Project Links: Site, App

Familiar

“We explore the world without leaving our desks, then we document our discoveries. Sure, we’re a sweaty cult of creative professionals, but we don’t drink the Kool-Aid.”

Design and development: Familiar and contributors, Copy: Simon Goetz

Project Link: Home

Use All Five

“Born from a love for making excellent things with paper and pixels, Use All Five now handles a wide range of advertising and branding projects, from websites for sprouting start-ups to applications for colossal corporations.”

Design and development: Use All Five, Copy: Simon Goetz

Project Links: Capabilities, Profile, Portfolio

Getty Images

“I, Oren Heart, do hereby resolve to only take credit for the children I have produced.”

Creative Direction: Fwis, Copy: Simon Goetz